Living in the liminal space of Advent

A few years ago, as I was preparing to go to the Czech Republic, I heard a sermon on living in liminal spaces [those places where we are waiting for something, but it hasn’t happened yet]. That sermon really struck me because I felt like I was living in one of those spaces. I was preparing for life in the Czech, I was excited about going and all that I would experience there, and yet, I was still in the US waiting to go.

When I shared this part of my story at an EMM chapel, someone came up to me later and said that life is full of liminal spaces and that I would feel that way often. I didn’t realize how true those words would be.

During this season of Advent, I realized that Advent itself is a liminal space. We are believing, hoping, waiting for Christmas…for Jesus’ return…and yet it’s not here…yet. We are confident that Christmas (the reminder of Jesus’ coming to earth the first time as a baby in a manger) is coming. We are also confident that Christ will return at the end of the age.

Advent wreath that I made in Germany

Each Sunday of Advent, we light candles as a sign. Each week another one is added, until they are all lit. It’s a physical symbol of the waiting process.

I’m also reminded of many other things that I’m believing for that aren’t…yet. Believing for transformation in people’s lives…believing for healing…believing for provision…believing for _______. Sometimes it’s hard to keep believing, especially when we don’t see results…or we lack patience…or we simply have doubts. No one ever said that faith would be easy. Like the father that brought his son to Jesus for healing in Mark 9, I say, “I do believe, help me to overcome my unbelief!”.

That is my prayer today and throughout this season. That as I’m waiting and hoping for things to come, God will continue to give me the faith to overcome my unbelief.

God of the Impossible

I just watched the movie, The Impossible (which I highly recommend, by the way!). Watching this movie reminded me again how I serve the God of the impossible. Nothing is too big (or too small) for Him. If He can reunite a family of 5 after a massive tsunami, surely He can do the impossible things in my life too.

I've seen Him do things I thought were impossible (um, anyone else remember that really large budget I had to raise before I came to the Czech Republic?)...and that gives me faith and hope for the impossible dreams I hold now...most too personal to share with the world, but they're there.

What about you? Do you have confidence in the God of the impossible? Do you trust Him enough to believe He can do it - whatever your impossible situation may be?

No, it probably won't happen like I envision, but God is God and His ways aren't my ways. My job is just to trust Him (which can be hard, but is so worth it).

Wait, I'm an English Teacher?!

Teaching English in Prague wasn't something that I really anticipated doing. In fact, it's one of the things I didn't really want to do.

Funny how it's now the main thing that I do...

But, I can honestly say that it is a real joy (well, except for that pesky lesson planning, ha!). 

I thought I'd "introduce" you to my students and give you a glimpse into what my week of lessons often looks like. Most of my lessons are individual lessons and vary in length of time, location and level. Some meet in coffee shops, some in the student's home, and some at my church.

On Mondays, I meet with Ingrid. I met her back in August, during my TEFL course. She was actually a student of mine for a week during that course. She's from Slovakia and is an anesthesiologist. We have had some really interesting conversations, ranging from family to differences between the CZ and the US to medicine (you should be impressed, Mom!) to spirituality.

Tuesdays have two lessons...though one is more informal and is more of a Czech-English exchange. That's with Hanka. She's from my church and for a time, we were part of the same women's Bible Study (though since her daughter was born, she hasn't been able to come as often). She's on maternity leave right now and has more free time. I enjoy our times together because we are both learning how to speak the other's language. And, I'm super grateful that she's so patient with my Czech attempts!

My second lesson is with Vendy. She and I met last year at the Family Center (at my church). She has two small children, both of whom keep her quite busy! She loves to be active herself and will often compete in various orienteering events through the CZ. During our lessons, I often hear about her different events, which sound quite fascinating to me. I am learning a lot from her!

On Wednesdays, I am at the Family Center. This is the day that I teach the mothers. Last year, the number of mothers that attended ranged from 4-6...this year, there is usually 8 that come each week. What a fun group of women! I've been enjoying meeting and getting to know them! And, because of them, I am much more knowledgeable on the differences in raising children in the CZ and the US (a BIG thank you to those who helped me out!). :)

Thursdays are the busiest days of lessons, with 3. I start my day at the Family Center teaching English to the kids. Their ages are 1-4. Mirka (one of the women from church who runs the Center) and I plan these lessons together - what a huge blessing! Our lessons follow the structure of what they do on Mondays and Tuesdays (at least loosely). Because the kids are so young, we do translate some things into Czech. I definitely become more child-like during these times! But, such fun!!

Thursday afternoons, I meet with Anicka. She's 8 and loves to draw. She also loves games. She's taught me a few games and I've taught her Dutch Blitz. We have a lot of fun together. :)

Then in the evenings, I meet with Katka. She's Vendy's sister. It's fun to teach sisters. They have similar interests, and yet are quite different. Katka often has ideas of what she wants to work on, which makes lesson planning easier. But, it has been a lot of fun to come up with creative ways to introduce new topics. And, she's a really motivated student, which makes teaching more fun.

My week ends with a Friday afternoon lesson with Zdenek. I used to meet with him and his wife (I met her last year when she would bring their grandson to the Family Center), but she's decided not to continue. I learn so much from Zdenek about Prague, life in the CZ, and many other topics...including my own government. Though I do plan lessons, I never really know where our conversations will end up - but that's the part I love!

There are so many other things that I could say about my students and teaching English in Prague...but that'll have to be another time. :) I hope you enjoyed your glimpse into my life as an English teacher! Until next time...

Conquering Doubt

I’ve written this blog numerous times in my head over the past few weeks, but finally have gotten around to actually writing and posting it so you can see it too. :)

After that whirlwind summer I mentioned, I got right back into the swing of things here. I spent the month of August taking an intensive TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course here in Prague. While it was a good class, and I feel like I learned how to be a better teacher, it was exhausting. Plus, it was quite weird for me to be living in Prague, and yet not really experiencing Prague as I have known it (hanging out with mostly Americans and other ex-pats instead of Czechs). Not bad, just different.

I had a week in between when the TEFL course ended and my responsibilities at the Family Center began. That week, the first week of September, played havoc on my mind. You would think that after taking a course on how to teach English, I would feel prepared, excited, and confident to teach. Instead, I was plagued with doubt, insecurity and wondered if I’d be able to do it. I spent time in prayer, in reading the Word, and yet the doubts lingered. It felt all-consuming and overwhelming when I thought about my schedule and the number of lessons I’d need to prepare.

Thankfully, one day God spoke to me through King Hezekiah. I was reading in Isaiah 36 and 37. It’s the story of when the Assyrian King threatened Israel, saying that he would conquer their nation and that God couldn’t stop him. The people who heard him remained silent while he threatened them, because they trusted Hezekiah and what he said about God…that God would save them. In the very next section (chapter 37), it says that after Hezekiahs’ leaders reported these events to him, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and went into the temple to pray. Later on, it mentions that he went in and prayed again, proclaiming the truth of God and His promises.

You see, even Hezekiah struggled with doubt. He thought he heard the Lord. He believed that God had spoken. But then the doubts came, as the enemy seemed to advance. Had God spoken? Would God follow through with what He had said? We know that God had indeed spoken to Hezekiah, and that He did follow through on what He claimed He would do.

This is what gave me hope too. It reminded me that God has called me here. That He will equip me with all that I need. That He loves this country more than I do. That He will use me for His purposes. It’s not how good of a teacher I am (don’t get me wrong, I still want to be a good teacher and want my students to learn!), but how God wants to work through me to touch lives. I can walk in confidence, knowing God is leading.

As for the doubts, yeah, sometimes they’re still there, but God helps me to overcome them. Thank goodness I don’t have to do that on my own!

There and back again

Greetings once again from Prague!

You may not realize it, but I was in the US for the past 3 weeks. What an incredible, unexpected blessing to go back and reconnect with family and friends, as well as meet new friends! I just wanted to share a few highlights from my time in the US.

Caden & I at the Toledo Zoo

1) Rest: So, remember my last blog post? The one on rest? Yeah, well, interestingly enough, that's what the theme was for our missionary retreat while I was home. Coincidence? I don't think so. :) It felt very applicable for me and was a really good challenge to be more intentional about taking time to get away and really rest. Each of us were encouraged to think about people and things that bring us life and to intentionally put those into our schedules on a regular basis. While I have general ideas of some of these things, I want to actually take time and map this out. I think it'll be helpful for me in the long-run, especially as I enter another busy season.

2) Caden: One of the highlights from my time in Ohio was reconnecting with my nephew IN PERSON! He was 2 months old when I left for Prague the first time, and though we have connected regularly via Skype, I was super excited to see him again. He is such a fun little guy! I had a blast watching him run around and talk nonstop. And, yes, he did recognize me (even at 11pm!) from the first night. What fun! The whole family spent a day at the Toledo Zoo - Caden's first visit - and had a great time enjoying the animals.

3) Connecting with Others: I was also able to connect with many others, including spending two days with dear friends at the beach in the rain; enjoying steak at the Texas Roadhouse; helping my former roommate, Emily, by painting a piece of her mural (just to say I helped - ha!); the Oasis retreat; numerous chats over coffee; Global Fair; learning how to play Dominion; speaking in churches; family pictures with the whole Nofziger clan (happy 65th to my gradnparents!); campfires; the lake; homemade tacos with the Short side; and many, many fun memories. Thanks for all the memories! And, if I didn't get to see you this summer, I'll be back in the States for a longer period next summer - we'll just have to connect then! :)

Proof that I helped!

Former roommates

Learning to Rest

Here's an excerpt from my recent newsletter. Thought I'd share some thoughts with you on what's been rolling around my head the past few weeks. Enjoy. :) 

Lately I've been reflecting on Rest. In many ways, I don't think that I 'rest' well. I tend to want to always be busy and doing things...many times to the point of doing too much. I'm sure this doesn't happen to any of you. :)

My work at the Family Center ended June 19 (we close for the summer). Since that time, I've had a lot more free time than normal. At first, this was a struggle for me. I wanted to fill it with lots of activities and meetings with people. I thought that's what I should do...and what any 'good missionary' would do. But, that felt tiring and draining and I realized that I really didn't have much energy for setting up so many meetings (since I still have to do most of the initiating in relationships here).

So, what to do? If I spent the two weeks resting between the close of the Family Center and my trip to the US, wouldn't that make me lazy? Wouldn't people think that I am wasting my time and not being productive? Maybe. But, through the help of friends, I realized something. I realized that I need to take time to rest and to see this time as a blessing from God. I just finished a busy season...and have a very full 3 weeks in the US coming up, followed immediately by an intensive 4 week TEFL course (in Prague). So, why shouldn't I take advantage of these two weeks and rest?!

No, I am not neglecting my duties. I am still meeting with some of my English conversation people. I still have Czech lessons, I'm still going to church and my Czech Bible Study.

But, I also am taking time to rest. To do fun reading. To journal. To relax. To sleep in. To play my piano. To spend time with friends.I am trying to find the balance in life, so that I don't enter this next season burned out, with nothing left to give.

Maybe I'm trying to justify my actions and not having a "good story" to share with you this month, but I see it as being real. I want you to know that I am trying to take care of myself in all areas, because that's important too.

Prázdniny!

[Translation: Summer vacation!]

Yesterday was my last day at the Family Center for this (school) year. It's hard to believe how quickly the last 10 months have gone. In some ways, it feels like a mere 2 months ago that I first started attending the Center and having English conversation lessons. In other ways though (ahem, lesson planning), it feels like it has been much longer than 10 months.

Other than lesson planning, I really enjoyed my English conversation lessons. The women that attended are some of the sweetest women I've met. They were a joy to meet with, teach, and talk with. I have learned a lot from them and about them. I am grateful for the times we had together and the ways that they encouraged me. Each one is very dear to me.

I also really enjoyed Tuesdays when I taught the children an English song, using a parrot puppet. Oh, how the children loved Pete the parrot! Even this week, after 10 months of "talking" with Pete, the children flocked to see him one last time. I wonder if they'll remember him in September when the Family Center reopens...

The Center was also a great place for me to practice my Czech. No, I certainly wasn't the most outgoing person at the Center, but I did try to talk with at least 1-2 people in Czech each time I was there. Sometimes that would be a 3 minute conversation and sometimes it would be 15 minutes. Each time, I was encouraged when I walked away and understood what was said and knew that I had communicated. Because of the Center, I feel like my Czech has improved this past year (hopefully it's true!).

When I reflect on the past 10 months, many faces come to mind; both children and adults. I was blessed this year to meet and get to know (in varying degrees) so many interesting people. And, I am already looking forward to next year and how it will unfold. I'm hoping to expand on the relationships that were started this year, as well as meet new people.

Until then...I'm going to enjoy my vacation! :)

A song for this season

I often get "stuck" on a song for a while. Usually, it happens when I hear lyrics or a melody that touches my heart and then I keep thinking about it and listening to it over and over. Recently, that song has been Matt Redman's 10,000 Reasons. 

You can see the video here. The lyrics are: 

Chorus: Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul, 

              Worship His holy name.

              Sing like never before, O my soul. 

              I'll worship Your holy name.  

Verse 1: The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning; 

               It's time to sing Your song again.

               Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, 

               Let me be singing when the evening comes. 

Verse 2: You're rich in love and You're slow to anger.

               Your name is great and Your heart is kind. 

               For all Your goodness, I will keep on singing; 

               Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find. 

Verse 3: And on that day when my strength is failing, 

              The end draws near, and my time has come; 

              Still my soul will sing Your praise unending; 

              Ten thousand years and then forevermore!  

Through the eyes of visitors

(In Old Town Square)

I recently had the privilege of hosting Karl and Nita Landis in Prague. What a blessing!

They joined me at church and in various activities that I'm involved in. Karl was asked to preach on Sunday morning. Nita had the opportunity to even teach at my Wednesday morning English class (which was an added benefit for me - a bit of break!). :)

It was so much fun to see things through their eyes. One of the things that I really appreciated about them and their visit was their ability to look at situations objectively. They saw things that I sometimes overlook because I've lived here long enough and they have become "normal" to me. Things like the beauty of cobblestone streets and incredible architecture...or the convenience of public transport...the thrill of trying new foods.

But even more than that, they gave me a fresh picture of the things I'm involved in. They cared enough to get to know the people in my church, in my class, or other ex-pat friends living here. They asked questions that I have never thought to ask (and I learned a lot!). And, we laughed...a lot. It was a refreshing few days for me!

Karl and Nita, thank you. I hope the week was as refreshing for you as it was for me! :)

Night of the what?!

Last night was an interesting paradox for me. It was "Noc Kostelů" or "Night of the Churches." Over 120 churches in Prague alone opened their doors for people to walk through and visit. And people flocked to the churches, even with the cold, rainy weather.

Does it strike anyone else as ironic that an Atheistic nation like the Czech Republic would do that?

Most of the churches were opened 4-6 hours, and had some sort of program. Some churches that normally have an admission cost were simply open for guests to walk through.

What an opportunity to share who Christ is and what we believe! I went to one church (one of the Czech Brethren churches -- the same denomination that I attend -- in the center of town), where one of the guys from my youth group was leading worship. I love worship, but the fact that anyone could walk in during that time and hear words of praise and adoration being sung? Amazing.

Yeah, the draw was probably more to see the architecture and the stained glass (even with gray skies?), but I believe it was something more. I think that churches and believers intrigue non-believers. I also think that God is working in the hearts and minds of people here. It isn't going to be an instant thing, but I am looking forward to seeing how this plays out. Because I believe in a BIG GOD who loves people...and who wants people to know His love.

Would you pray with me that the people who came out to see the churches yesterday would continue to seek the Truth, even if they don't realize who He is? That He would continue to make himself known. Thank you.

Practicing Thankfulness

I just received the devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young for my birthday. I've heard a lot about this particular devotional, and have been hoping to get my hands on my own copy. Thanks to my dear parents, now I have one! :)

Today's devotional reading was talking about living a life of Thankfulness...about how God can "do His greatest works through people with grateful, trusting hearts." For almost a year now, I've been keeping a Thankfulness journal. Each evening, I write 5 things from the day that I'm thankful for. Some of them are big things, but most are small things.

Anyway, as I read this devotional today, I was reminded again how vital Thankfulness is. It takes my eyes off of myself and my problems or my struggles and puts the focus back on Jesus. It's looking to Him and being aware of how He's at work in my life.

And He is at work...not just in my life, but in each of our lives, whether we realize it or not.

One way I've seen Him at work in my life is in how He is bringing answers to prayers that I have prayed for quite a long time. For example, before I left for the Czech, I prayed for a community of people who care about and support me. I have that...in my Church, my small group, the friends that I've made. I am a part...accepted...included...and as a result, I am incredibly blessed.

Another thing I'm thankful for is in my role as Regional Representative. I've been realizing recently that I am not only enjoying the role, but I am finding my groove and feeling like I'm growing more confident in the role. It's encouraging to see!

God is also at work in the lives of people around me...those who know Him and those who don't. Whether it's in the conversations we've had...or the questions they have...or the statements about looking for more in life...or a host of other things, God is at work. And, that makes me thankful. 

Time flies when we're having fun, right?

So you may have noticed that my blog has been looking the same for quite some time. Maybe you thought that it's just your computer. Or maybe you thought that I forgot my blog password. Or maybe there would be another reason, because surely, it wouldn't be simply because I was busy, right? Hmm.

Nope, the sad and honest truth is that I can't believe how quickly the first months of 2013 have flown by. I mean, is it really March 13 already?!

In case you're wondering, I did think about blogging. I've had multiple ideas of what to blog about. I would even start writing them in my head. But, somehow, they never wrote themselves. :) And then I would get too busy and the blog would stay the same.

Today, that will change.

Today, I want to give you a brief update on my life this year. So, here we go.

• Visitors! From February 2 through March 6, I had the joy of hosting my dear friend, Becki, who was in Prague taking a CELTA class (how to teach English to Foreigners). What a joy to have her here with me again! The only down-side was that she loves snow...and was praying for it almost every day...and God heard (and answered) her prayers. :) I also had two other friends visit for a week at a time. Luca came the last week that Becki was here and Kendra came the week after she left (actually arriving a few hours after Becki departed). It was so much fun to show them Prague...to see other parts of the country...to take them to church and other things I'm involved in...and to simply be together. What a blessing! 
• Family Center: I continue to help out at the Family Center at my church 2-4 times each week (depending on the week). Two of the days, I do some English teaching. I always enjoy my time there, though sometimes I struggle to know if I should try talking to people in Czech or English or both. :) Interestingly enough, I was on our local community news the other week (sorry, the link has already expired). They were interviewing foreigners who attend the center, asking them what they like about Prague and our neighborhood, etc. Even though I'm not a parent, they interviewed me...in Czech...and I responded...in Czech. Yikes. :)
• Church: One of the cool traditions that my church does each week is have the people having birthdays the previous week stand up and share how we, as a church, can pray for them. Well, as you may remember, my birthday was last week. That meant that I had to stand up and share in church this past Sunday. Boy, am I glad that's over! :) I don't mind speaking in front of large groups of people, but speaking Czech in front of them...well, that's another thing entirely! Ha. 
• English Conversations: One of the highlights of my week are the 2-3 English conversation "lessons" I have with different people. It's a great way for me to connect with people and a great way for building relationships. I always enjoy our conversations and the various things we end up talking about. 
• Birthday trip to Karlovy Vary: As a way to celebrate my birthday, Becki and I spent a few days in Karlovy Vary, a spa town in Western CZ. What a relaxing weekend! We had massages, took advantage of the hotel's spa/sauna, walked around both the town and a nearby castle, ate some yummy food, drank the hot spring mineral water (good for you - not so good in taste! Ha.), and simply enjoyed our time together. Thanks, Becki! 

I think that's all for now. Don't want to give you too much information that you don't want to come back again. Ha. Until next time...

Newest Additions

There are two new additions in my flat...and I wanted to show them off! :)

The first is my digital piano. Oh what a happy day it was when this arrived! For someone who has played piano for many years, it felt like my life was complete again...playing piano is my stress relief; my way to worship; and my creative outlet (or one of them...according to a certain Art Teacher friend, I have a few others. :)). I have already spent a lot of time (ok, maybe a few hours...) playing. What a wonderful Christmas present to myself!

Four beautiful pictures that I received from Rhoda are the second addition to my flat. She knew that my walls were looking a little bare and sent some incredible photos for me to hang. They were taken in the Western US in some caverns. I love how the light is reflected in each one! She included a note with them that said, "When you see these, remember "The people walking in darkness have seen a great Light" and "You are the light of the world."" Thanks, Rhoda, for the thoughtful gift! I will (and do) treasure them and their message. What a great reminder!

And, last but not least, a picture of the two of them together to complete the effect.

*Disclaimer: Keep in mind that I'm not a photographer and that this all looks better in person. If you want to see for yourself, I always welcome visitors!! Now, who wants to come?! :)

What's in a year? Reflecting on 2012...

It's that time of year again where a lot of people reflect on the past year; thinking of the joys, the struggles, the highs, the lows and then they look forward to what the New Year could bring. Since it's been almost forever since I've blogged, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the past 12 months in my life (if I can remember back that far - ha!).

• After 10 intensive months of language school, I finished classes in June. I'm not even close to fluent in Czech, but I did learn a lot and I'm glad I went through the classes. I hope to take more classes in the future (though unsure of when that will actually happen). 
• This Fall, I began to teach English at the Family Center, held at my church. Though I don't always (often) feel like a great teacher, I enjoyed my class and enjoyed getting to know the women in it. It was a fun opportunity for me! 
• I became a member of my church here in Prague. This was a decision I made as a way to show I was committed to them. I wanted to be a part of them officially. Nothing has really changed, other than now we all know that they are my church body. They welcomed me warmly after the service...and since I didn't broadcast that it was happening, many people were surprised when my name was called. :)
• Moving to a new flat. Back in October, I moved into a flat closer to my church. It has been a blessing to live in the community where I work. There are a number of people that I've gotten to know who live nearby. Plus, it is close enough to public transport that I can be downtown in 30 minutes, while still enjoying the quiet (minus New Year's Eve when fireworks are erupting every few minutes!). 
• Visitors! I was blessed to have a number of visitors come in 2012. What a blessing to be able to show them my life here! 
• Spending Christmas in the Czech! I didn't have the traditional meal of carp (though I did have the potato salad), but it was a wonderful time! I spent the evening with some friends from church. We ate, talked, opened gifts, played games and simply enjoyed each other's company. It's definitely one I'll remember for a long time! 
• Another highlight of the year has nothing to do with the Czech...but it's a pretty special one for me! My nephew learned to say my name this year! Talk about melting your heart! I miss that little guy (and many others as well) and can't wait to see him again!

Don't get me wrong, there were definitely times of struggle throughout the year too...frustrations in learning a new language...my bad habit of comparing myself to others (in language ability, in the work that I do, in relationships, in being effective)...missing important events at home...

But, through it all, I have been able to see how God has been working. He's providing friendships. He's giving me people who care about me for me, not simply because I'm the foreigner living among them. He's showing me how to have more grace for myself. He's reminding me about how this is a journey; not something I'll accomplish in one year, but something I'll work on for a lifetime. He's comforting me when I'm sad or missing home. He's equipping me for tasks that I can't do on my own. He's helping me to see the joys in each day. 

What does 2013 hold? What am I looking forward to in these next 12 months? Good question. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me...whatever that may look like. It's not that I don't have dreams and ideas and plans, but I just want to live my life with an open hand...allowing God to change those dreams and ideas and plans to fit His plans for my life. 

Though a quick trip to the US in July does rate pretty highly on my list of things I'm looking forward to in 2013...as does getting a teammate (or so) sometime in the next year...but beyond that, only God knows... :)