In some ways, I feel like I'm in a bit of a time warp. This summer I've been in the US doing things that I would've done years ago. Things that would have felt normal then. But now, it feels a bit like I've gone back in time.
Don't get me wrong. I love the fact that I have been able to spend time with my family. Or that I can connect with friends I haven't seen in a while. And that I can eat certain foods I can't get (or don't want to pay an arm and a leg for) in Prague.
But, at the same time, being back in the US is a bit...weird. I don't really know where I fit in anymore.
I think a bit differently...
and dress a bit differently...(apparently, not everyone wears scarves during the summer?)
and according to my brother, I eat a bit differently...(because not everyone eats with both a fork and a knife at every meal. What?!) :)
I know these are mostly surface-y things, but they show a glimpse of how much I've changed. Yes, I'm still American, but I'm no longer 100% American...just like, though I live in the Czech, I am not Czech. I will never be fully Czech, but I'm no longer fully American.
So, I learn to adjust. I constantly try and figure out the balance of what's important and what's not...or figure out if I care that people look at me differently because I ask for water without ice or give a funny look when the cashier starts to make small talk.
And, while I do miss life in the Czech, I am grateful that I am here this summer. I am enjoying the times of playing in the sandbox with my nephew. Or the conversations with my grandparents. Or helping my mom and dad do corn. Having former neighbors over for dinner. Little things that are such a blessing.
In less than a month, I'm planning to return to Prague. That makes me excited because Prague is home. But, while I am excited to go back, there will definitely be a part of my heart that stays here. I think that's probably pretty normal.
Don't get me wrong. I love the fact that I have been able to spend time with my family. Or that I can connect with friends I haven't seen in a while. And that I can eat certain foods I can't get (or don't want to pay an arm and a leg for) in Prague.
But, at the same time, being back in the US is a bit...weird. I don't really know where I fit in anymore.
I think a bit differently...
and dress a bit differently...(apparently, not everyone wears scarves during the summer?)
and according to my brother, I eat a bit differently...(because not everyone eats with both a fork and a knife at every meal. What?!) :)
I know these are mostly surface-y things, but they show a glimpse of how much I've changed. Yes, I'm still American, but I'm no longer 100% American...just like, though I live in the Czech, I am not Czech. I will never be fully Czech, but I'm no longer fully American.
So, I learn to adjust. I constantly try and figure out the balance of what's important and what's not...or figure out if I care that people look at me differently because I ask for water without ice or give a funny look when the cashier starts to make small talk.
And, while I do miss life in the Czech, I am grateful that I am here this summer. I am enjoying the times of playing in the sandbox with my nephew. Or the conversations with my grandparents. Or helping my mom and dad do corn. Having former neighbors over for dinner. Little things that are such a blessing.
In less than a month, I'm planning to return to Prague. That makes me excited because Prague is home. But, while I am excited to go back, there will definitely be a part of my heart that stays here. I think that's probably pretty normal.
Glad you are having a productive and meaningful time at home, but your friends in Prague will be happy to welcome you back in a month! Continuing to pray for the rest of your time there!
ReplyDeleteYou grew up in a "yellow" culture but have been living in a "blue" culture. You are now a variation of green... or striped, polka dotted, tie dyed, whatever... Welcome to the realities of being bi-cultural. At home in both settings... and a bit of an alien as well. There are more of us odd ones out there - you are a part of our tribe. ;)
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